The Life List of

The Life List of

Alex DiRe

 
  • Get into MIT
  • Graduate from MIT
  • Get a PhD in physics or math
  • Become a college professor
  • Discover something
  • Learn French well enough to tell the French how annoying they are
  • Insult a celebrity on national T.V.
  • Personally tell Tom Cruise to stop jumping on furniture
  • Take over the world so that I can slap all of the previous world leaders
  • Get married
  • Have kids until I am sick of kids and then put the extras up for adoption
  • Publish something
  • Dodge the draft
  • Graduate top 5 in the class
  • Get a 5 on all of my ap exams
  • Train a monkey to beat up creationists
  • Teach President Bush how to say nuclear
  • Live in the city
  • Get better at guitar
  • Say something really smart that people remember
  • Tell a little kid that Santa Clause isn’t real
  • Pass my road test
  • Be the successful child in my family
  • Meet George Carlin, Bill Maher, and Jon Stewart
  • Be there when AJ punches Kaplan in the face after one too many math jokes
  • Be there when Vicky punches Kaplan in the face after one too many Girl Scout jokes
  • Grab Donald trump’s toupee off of his head and run around with it, and if it’s not a toupee then sorry Donald
  • Drop the host of survivor off in the middle of the desert